TIme to Be Grateful!

First off, I’d like to acknowledge that I’ve had a LONG hiatus from blogging. Life has been happening so fast for me. When I last blogged, I was in law school. Now, two years later, I’m a lawyer with a fabulous job, fabulous home, and fabulous life.

As I thought about whether I wanted to resume writing my blog, I wanted to make sure that I was being true to myself, but also saying something with meaning. I reflected on other blogs out there, and I didn’t want to be cliché or commonplace. My mind often returned to how grateful I am to have the life I have. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't perfect, by any means! But I've resolved to dwell on the fabulous and not the fretful. I want to inspire others to look at their lives and find what they should be grateful for. I think that much can be gained from living life with an attitude of gratitude. I’ve also seen an absence of that lately, and that concerns me.

So with that, this blog is going to take a sharp left turn. I want to blog about what I’m thankful for. It’ll still have the stories, but it’ll be more focused to what makes me give thanks. I hope that you will take this challenge to find what you should be thankful for in life. The reality is that if you’re breathing, you have a reason to be thankful.

My Mini Miracle- My Car

I had gone white-water rafting a couple of weekends ago. On the two-hour drive there and back, I noticed my car shaking at high speeds. I assumed that I needed the car to be aligned since it had been a couple of years since I’d had that done. I have lifetime alignment with Firestone, so I took it there. Turns out, my front tire rods were worn out. And they claimed that I would need to replace those front tires AND have it aligned… all to the tune of $859! Needless to say, I was a little depressed. Now to a little background, I just bought a house. I used to be able to save a lot in a little bit of time. But now, with my new mortgage payment, the savings aren’t coming in as quickly. I have in my emergency fund enough to pay for the repair, but I didn’t want to take that hit. After the initial feeling of frustration, I kept telling myself, “The Lord will provide.” I even put that as my Facebook status.

Instead of leaving the car at Firestone to repair, I took it to my regular mechanic. He confirmed all the problems that Firestone described, told me how long it would take to fix, and told me he’d call me in a couple of days with a price estimate. When he called me back a couple of days later, he went into great detail to describe everything that they’d done to the car. They replaced the tire rods with a kit. Thankfully, he said that with a tire rotation, I wouldn’t need two new tires. They also gave me a wheel alignment. He said, “You can come by and get your car any time.” I was a little hesitant when I asked, “Well, how much will I owe you?” When he said, “$210,” I nearly fell out of my office chair! I was so thankful that I didn’t have to pay that $859!!

The Giving Boomerang

Taylor Swift playing in the Bridgestone Arena

I am keenly passionate about giving back. This led me to be one of the founding members of an alumni association for my high school. The group has been communicating with the current principal of my high school about things that the school needs and how we can contribute. In the email chain, she said that she was hosting the school’s Student Government Association at her home and she would love an alumnus to come and talk to them and get them fired up for the school year. When I was in high school, I was freshman class president, senior class vice-president; I helped plan homecoming, proms, etc. So I thought, “Why not me?!” I thought it would be fun and a great way to give back. It also seemed like I would be the perfect person to talk to student leaders, as I spent so much time being one! I volunteered, even though it would cause me to give up my Saturday sleeping-in ritual. If you know me and how much I love to sleep, you know this was a big sacrifice. I got up Saturday morning a little sleepy and a little grumpy. I got in the shower, and I thought, “You know, I better get something from the universe for doing this.” When I got out of the shower, I went to check my phone. I got a text from my friend Michel that said, “Morning! Do you have plans for tonight? Robbin (Michel’s husband) really wants to see the OU-FL game tonight, but we have Taylor Swift tickets. Would you like to go with me to see Taylor Swift?” I was excited! I wasn’t really a huge Taylor Swift fan, but I love live music, so I was super amped to go. Needless to say, I agreed to pinch hit for Robbin.

It was on the way to speak to the high school students that I realized I had gotten my payback from the universe! The power of giving is phenomenal! It truly is a boomerang. It may not come in the way you give, but it will always come back to you. The greatest thing is that I got double. Seeing Taylor Swift perform was certainly a highlight. However, I REALLY was enriched and inspired by those students. We had an awesome time and I loved our interaction. So actually, I was doubly blessed.

I’m thankful for the miracle in my car and the boomerang of giving. What happened to you this week that made you thankful? If you’ve found yourself in a funk this week and can’t really think of anything to be thankful for, start with the fact that you woke up today. Then think about how you made it through this week. Then think about the fact that it’s Sunday, which means you have a second chance to have a fabulous upcoming week!

Go forth with thanks!

Love, Dannelle.

It's Time to De-Clutter!!

Hello! I hope you all are doing well. I am FINALLY done with finals and have made it home for the holiday break (one of the FEW benefits of still being a student). So I have determined that I most definitely need to catch up on the blog after a significant time away.

 

I have been reading this book title, “Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be” by Donna Partow. It’s a 90-day process that takes you through Proverbs 31 and extracts important principles to living a Godly life. Even though it seems to be geared more toward women with husbands and children, I have found some principles that I can apply to my daily life… such as this morning. Today’s lesson was about de-cluttering your house, which I totally recommend doing. However, I felt it more applied to me emotionally.

 

She gave 3 reasons why we need to de-clutter physically: (1) Clutter wastes time- you have to spend time looking for what you really want but if you have de-cluttered, you can just go right to the necessary item; (2) Clutter wastes money- you’ll go buy a replacement simply because you misplaced the last thing; and (3) Clutter is dangerous- you can trip on all the piles of stuff lying around.

 

Yep, she was right… clutter wastes time. Have you ever had a real problem, and you went to your friends, your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your mentor, your advisor… everybody for advice? And then it got to the point that you couldn’t actually hear the voice that matters most… your inner voice? That’s certainly happened to me. That’s why I need to de-clutter. So that I can hear that still, small voice inside that tells me what my next move should be, who is right for me and wrong for me. Now I’m not saying that people aren’t in your life to encourage you or to advise you. But there comes a time when you let too many voices drown out your own. And then you waste time trying to wade through all the advice when the answer was within you all along.

 

Clutter wastes money… Donna says, “If something you need is lost in a mess, you are likely to go the store and purchase a replacement… that gets rather costly!” Wow, how true is that! I am so quick to throw people and situations away sometimes. Sometimes it’s been for good reason, other times it’s been because I had messed things up so badly that I didn’t even feel like trying to rectify it, so I just gave up and went toward something new. The only thing is that I didn’t solve the old issues and they keep resurfacing in the new thing. For example, I worked this job (I won’t tell you what it was); but at the time, I had many, many things on my plate. I couldn’t fulfill the obligations of that job. So instead of tackling my real issue- poor time management, I just quit. I later found a new job, but the same issues popped up- poor time management. I’m working on it now though. But you can’t go through life hopping from one situation to the next simply because it’s messy and a replacement seems like a better solution. Find that situation and pull it out of the mess it’s in. Once you fix that problem, you are free to move on. But don’t move on until you do.

 

Clutter is surely dangerous. You can trip on all the piles of stuff lying around. Man, oh, man. Case in point for me was when I nearly lost a significant relationship for holding on to remnants of my past. I kept pictures around, hidden in places- for what? And when I was called out on it, I was embarrassed. It was time for me to de-clutter… and I did.  There is no sense in holding on to dead things, situations, or people- all those things can easily trip you up. If they are truly dead, let them go. I am reminded of the song, “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu. Don’t drag emotional bags around with you. No one wants to deal with those bags and you don’t want to trip over them yourself! As Erykah said, “Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go!”

 

The New Year is coming very, very soon (scary, isn’t it?). I encourage you to try to de-clutter emotionally before going into 2009. We all know the 80/20 Rule… but Donna talks about another version. Focus on the 20 percent of things that will yield the 80 percent return. Don’t waste your time on the remaining 80 percent that will only give you 20 percent return. For instance, make a list of 10 things you love to do. If you focus on doing 2 of those things well, you’ll be 80 percent satisfied. This is opposed to half-doing all 10 things and only getting 20 percent satisfaction because you feel guilty for your half-hearted job. This rule can be applied across nearly every aspect of your life: family, relationships, friendships, your spiritual life, your career. You can de-clutter by finding out what will yield you the most return and get rid of the rest.

 

As I sit today, I’ve made my de-clutter list. I’m going through my phone… yep, he’s wasting my time… he’s deleted. I’m going through my insecurities. That’s tripping me up… it’s gotta go. I’m thinking of my deficiencies, making a point to fix them, and then letting them go. In my head, I’m thinking of situations over which I had no control, but are still weighing me down. Yep, it’s cost me too much time and energy to focus on it, so I’m letting it go. I don’t know about you, but it is my aim not to bring any more clutter into 2009. I’m not trying to waste any more of my time or my money… and I’m tired of trippin’ over silly stuff! As I’ve decided, 2008 was great, but 2009 is gonna be simply divine!

Giving Thanks

Hello! I know it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted to the blog. But I’ve been traveling and wrapping up the semester. If you’re not a follower of the blog, make sure to do so by clicking the link to the right. I’d really appreciate it!

 

I didn’t set out to blog about Thanksgiving, but it seems totally appropriate to do so. Lately, it seems as if I’ve been extremely discontented. Right now, everything in my life seems so uncertain… career, relationships, finances, etc. I know this is only a temporary time in my life, but it’s become so easy for me to be less-than-happy and in the slumps. But as I woke up this morning and I thought about Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I felt that I needed to change my attitude.

 

Sure, I may not yet have a stellar job lined up upon graduation, but I am thankful that I am capable and intelligent and competent. And though my Prince Charming hasn’t yet knocked on my door, I am thankful that I am never short on love from family and friends. I am by no means a millionaire, but I have never gone without anything that I needed, and for that, I must be thankful.

 

Yesterday, I helped Jaron (my nephew) make his first batch of sugar cookies. He was so excited to be cooking with Auntie. I measured out the ingredients, and he dumped them in. Then he helped to mix them and put them on the pan. In the end, they turned out looking like scones because he wanted to shape them on his own, but they were quite tasty. Now when I’m at school, I live by myself. It could be weeks before I receive a hug from anyone, and I must say that it gets kind of lonely. So when I’m at home, I soak up all the hugs and kisses that Jaron, Drew (my niece), and the rest of my family have to offer me. So I’m thankful to have some place to go to feel loved.

 

Tomorrow we are going to have a small Thanksgiving. Noelle and the kids have gone to visit her family. So it will be me, mom, and David Jon together this Thanksgiving. Some may consider this set-up to be quite lonely. But recalling what our family has been through, I will consider this a table of survivors. Not only are we surviving, but we are also succeeding and excelling. That’s definitely cause to be thankful.

 

Being thankful is really a perpetual state of mind. It is so easy to look around and see what is wrong with the world, with where you live, with who you are. But it takes a concerted effort to see what is right, what is lovely, and what is positive. So tomorrow, I have made up my mind that I will utter no complaint. I will think no thought of how I wish things were or what I want things to be like. I am going to focus on all the things that God has been so kind to bless me with. I challenge you to do the same thing.

 

One last note of thanks goes to you for reading the blog. Many of you have left comments, sent email, or seen me in person and told me how much you enjoy the blog. Not only is this an outlet for me, but also I hope that it impacts those who read it in a positive way. And when I hear that people identify with my posts, it really validates my effort. I am certainly thankful for that.

With that being said, Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Eating!!!

Let's Stay Together

Hello again! 

First, thanks for continuing to visit the site. And continue to spread the word about the blog. I'd really appreciate it! Second, thanks to Noelle and Earniece for becoming followers of the blog. If you'd like to follow suit, just click the link on the right of your screen! 

Alright, so this morning as I was on my way to my externship, I popped in my old school mix CD. It's full of the old stuff our parents listened to: The Elements, Teddy P, Luther, The Temptations, Minnie Riperton... you get the idea. What I love about these folks is that they talk about real love. It reminds me about a joke Steve Harvey told about how he learned to "mack" girls by listening to Al Green. Imagine what our generation uses to "mack"... case in point: the song "Knock It Out" by Yung Joc. On that note, I digress.

Back to my ride in to work. These cats knew what real love was. Now my grandparents

 had been married for over 50 years when my

 grandaddy passed away. I have no doubt in my mind that they went through some hard times. My grandma told me a story about how one day she didn't have dinner ready when my granddad came home. And my grandaddy started yelling at her and told her, "When I come back you BETTER have my dinner!" She said she went to her room and packed her suitcase. And in her words, "Oh, you should have heard him begging!" Lord knows that my parents' marriage had many ups and downs, but they stuck it out.... even as it went from better to worse. That's real love.

Did you know the song by Al Green "Let's Stay Together" was penned after Dr. King was shot? Green explained that after his assassination, the whole world was in an uproar. He looked at his woman and thought, "No matter what's going on in this world, we've gotta stay together." And I think the same thing is true today. Our country is in financial upheaval as we speak. We still can't find Bin Laden. AIDS is a world-wide epidemic. And gas is too high. At some point, you've gotta look at your mate and say, "You know what? In this world, where it's looking more like hell on earth, we're better off together than apart."

They say Black Love is on the decline. And if 

you're like me, you've heard all the reasons... the lack of marryable black men, the attitude of black women, and the list goes on. But I think in my mind, I've begun to hope against hope. Call me idealistic or unrealistic, but I still believe there's someone out there just for me. And when I do stumble upon that man who is perfect for me (not that perfect man), you all will be the first know. But I said all that to say that the models of successful marriages and relationships are on the decline. Our charge as young, successful, singles is to re-create the mold for ourselves. We have gotta show the world that love is still the answer and love can still last. 

I must say that here recently, I've been a little encouraged. Two of my line sisters recently

 married their high school sweethearts. My best friend Allison's parents have been married for over 25 years. I recently designed wedding favors for a lady who was getting married for the first time... at 43 years old! And every time I see Barack kiss Michelle on the cheek, I just wanna melt! I know that relationships are never perfect, but to me, they're always worth it. So when things get tough, I say pray. And for some ideas on making the love last, ask Al Green.